Lord, beer me strength.

What a day. It started out quietly enough. I woke up this morning to dark skies and rain, and the house was all nice and toasty warm with the heater running. Juliet was fussing, so I got her and nursed her in my bed, where she fell asleep. We snuggled and dozed for a bit until it was time to wake Scott for his morning physical therapy session. Session went well, after which I had to get both kids ready for playgroup at 10:30.

This is how it went:

• Get Scott dressed and diaper changed while he cries and kicks and attempts to crawl away from me.
• Juliet starts wailing in her bouncy seat.
• Nurse Juliet while wandering around the house and gathering stuff for diaper bag.
• Juliet barfs all over me and herself.
  
• Change out of barfed-on clothes and into the same yoga pants I've been wearing for past two days, along with tank top and hoodie. Swipe Lansinoh on lips and consider makeup done.
• Put Juliet in carseat, complete with barfed-on outfit, since I know she's just going to throw up even more while in the car.
• Carry Juliet and diaper bag out to the car in the rain while Scott screams for me at the front door.
• Leave screaming Juliet in the car and collect Scott.
• Drive to playgroup with Juliet shrieking the entire way.
• Arrive at playgroup, unload kids. Juliet barfs all over me and herself.
• Change Juliet's clothes/diaper (ignoring barf on myself), put her in Moby wrap, get myself some coffee.
  
• Scott sits on the floor and cries until I agree to walk him around the house.
• Walk Scott until friends distract him with other children.
• Take two sips of coffee.
• Scott poops his diaper. Take Juliet out of wrap and change him while he arches his back and kicks and attempts to crawl away from me.
• Time to go. Put Juliet back in her carseat and gather belongings.
• Juliet screams the whole drive back to the house.
• Walk in front door with screaming baby in bucket seat and Scott on my hip. Set Scott down; he immediately starts crying.
• Turn on television to distract Scott (stupid Dragon Tales I HATE THAT SHOW) while I nurse Juliet.
• Juliet barfs all over herself and my pants. Thankfully, she does not seem to mind.
• Change Juliet's clothes. Ignore barf on myself.
• Scott watches TV and Juliet plays in bouncy seat while I prepare nutritious (note sarcasm) lunch of fish sticks, cheese, green beans, corn and Goldfish crackers.
• Attempt to put Scott in high chair. He screams and arches his back and whacks his head on the chair.
• Comfort Scott.
• Attempt high chair again. Same thing happens.
• Give up on high chair and attempt to feed Scott in my lap. He refuses everything.
• Eat Scott's cold fish sticks myself. Scott drinks milk while sniffling in my lap.
• Juliet is crying. Distract Scott with television (no idea what he's watching) while I put her down for nap.
• Put Scott down for nap.
• Consume three margaritas.

Okay, I didn't really do that last part. But I wanted to. In actuality, I ate a PB&J. In my barfed-on pants. I know, fancy.